the people pleasing pandemic

Yesterday one of the lovely ladies inside the Coven (<–discounted link 🤭) asked about people pleasing. I realized I had A LOT to say about this. I gave her my 2 cents but realized this morning that there is more to it.

So here we are, my thoughts on people pleasing:

We are TAUGHT to be people pleasers from an early age. Please your parents, teachers, friends and you’ll receive what all children want most. LOVE. Displease them (us) and that love will be withdrawn.

People pleasing is really a fear of authentic self expression. At least that’s how it starts. But as we fall deeper and deeper into the trap of PP we really begin to lose our identities and mold with the wants, needs, and desires of others. And all of a sudden we don’t know where we end and another person begins.

And so the people pleasing pandemic has become an attachment to a persona that is really just built in fear. Yet we are so attached to it because we can’t possibly believe that we will receive love for being exactly who we are. (Especially when we don’t even know who that person is).

We have to understand that the energetically co-dependent people pleasing relationship is mutually beneficial. At least it is so when we are all playing our agreed upon roles in the movie of life. As soon as one character realizes he/she no longer wishes to play the part – – another becomes dissatisfied and retracts his/her love. Causing us to be re-triggered and to further deepen the wound of “I can’t be myself”.

When you build a co-dependent relationship based on two people’s fake projected personas, there was never a TRUE bond to begin with. Meaning, when you begin to realize that it is your life’s mission to BE YOURSELF and you erect boundaries to keep your temple standing, others will be triggered. But that relationship of pleasing each other was built on illusions, lies, and mistrust.

I wish I could tell you that things can change without having to really change too much in your life; that things can change without hurting others. But it’s often not the case. Most people don’t like change and feel threatened at the thought that you could retract your energy of them. They will project their woundings on to you begging that you go back to your old identity which is really one that they found comfortable because it reminded them of someone in their early life.

A persona based on pleasing others is NOT a real identity.

And that is precisely why we all feel so uncomfortable right now. Squirming in our seats like we have a bad case of the hemorrhoids. Because we can no longer deny the fact that we have been living FOR other people. That we have created a persona for others to like so that we will like ourselves. 

Yes, it was mutually beneficial. But likely, that is no longer the case. So the first step to ending the people pleasing pandemic (and in my opinion, this other pandemic too) – – is to learn, remember, find again WHO YOU REALLY ARE and practice authentic self expression as much as possible!

Connect with an identity that is built on truth and authentic self expression no matter what the outside world says or sees. Because, remember, likely they are caught up in their own energetic spider web of others living in their own fake worlds of imposters and personas. PHEW… what a tangled web we’ve woven, eh?

Here is what I hope you take away from this…

>> If you are people pleasing in a relationship, you are operating from conditionings. You rely on that person to give you something and in return you “please them” (it looks differently for everyone). Find what it is they provide you with. What are you making it mean about you? Reduce the importance of it. Give it to yourself.

>> Get to know your truth. Who are you? Question every decision, every choice, every step. Only until you become aware for WHO you are actually alive for. Do something different in accordance with your real self.

>> “Authentic self expression is directly related to one’s self esteem.” <– that’s a direct quote from soul. Start speaking your truth and releasing the need to be right, the need to make everyone happy, or the idea that others can validate you with love. You’ve likely already learned this .. but you can never have enough of something you don’t really need. Which is why we can never get enough of the external validation. We constantly salivate for more.

Live life fully, for yourself.

P.S. – the Sacred Self Worship collective starts in ONE WEEK!! 🥳🥳🥳
We already have 6 women that said YES to:

>> Learning who they truly are
>> Releasing patterns, blocks, and self sabotage
>> Finding their unique voice
>> Connecting to their intuition
>> Letting go of people pleasing and energetic co-dependency
>> Increasing their confidence, self esteem, and self love
>> Reclaiming their power, their dreams, their goals, their own happiness and living life to the fullest

You can still join us HERE!

((Please contact me privately if you are in need of additional payment plan options))