One of my amazing and gorgeous clients asked me yesterday…
“How do you know when you are IN the matrix? How do you know when you are responding from a place that is not authentic to soul?”
And my answer is that I get triggered and allow myself to fall back into the thoughts of the matrix. Such as, victim mentality and taking things personal.
What do you know… several hours later I found myself being triggered AF by someone.
I was buying in to HER beliefs (and she is still sleeping – no judgement).
Here’s what happened.
I reached out to someone who was interested in life coaching. I immediately knew that she was NOT a good fit but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and see how I can help her.
She began by bashing life coaches. Said she hated the pricing model. Said she wanted to pay per session, like a doctor. And then she said ” How can I pay any of you thousands of dollars before I know what YOU can do for ME.” She also said she wasn’t sure she wanted to work with life coaches anymore because “it’s only about the money for them and not helping others”
<<CUE THE BLARING ALARMS IN MY HEAD. MFing TRIGGERED AF>>
She doesn’t even know me!
How could she say something like that?!
How rude!
I give a ton of free value but a girl’s gotta make a living!
I never expect people to hire me before we’ve worked together several times!
I fell back into the matrix.
Making money AND being spiritual was one of my first blocks around starting my business. And I was tested on it. ((It’s BS by the way. You can be as spiritual as a monk and bank like Beyonce.))
I tried to explain the way that I work. And explain my pricing structure and why it is the way that it is. I even told her that I offer free content in my groups, emails, and 1:1 consultations.
She hung up on me.
She hung up on me.
I was shocked.
After I picked my jaw up off the floor and calmed my ego down I realized what I had done wrong.
I bought into her excuses, defending my business model and MYSELF.
She was clearly projecting and expecting me to “fix her”. And I bought into it.
She made me feel bad about myself and I let her. I responded in defense of my triggers.
It was a HUGE learning experience for me. And a sign from the Universe that I’m not always as disconnected from the Matrix as I think I am ((MORE WORK!)) especially when I am in uncomfortable situations.
Why am I telling you this? I want you to be able to recognize when you are stepping back into your old conditionings and into your old beliefs.
Recognize it. Note what you could have done different (and fix the situation if you still can). Forgive yourself (we all make mistakes). And let it go.