I was at the point in my self growth journey where I honestly thought to myself…
OMG I am just fucking addicted to the drama, the suffering, the BS. It’s like I enjoy it. WTF is wrong with me?
Can you feel me? Have you ever felt that way?
I have everything that I want and need and yet I am still not happy.
Everytime I manifested that thing. Or the weekend finally came. Or the event I was looking forward to.
That THING, that I promised myself I would be happy with when it came, couldn’t even please me.
I have felt this way for so long that I started to accept it. ((which is probably the reason why I am now understanding it))
Here is what I now understand about being addicted to the drama ((and yes… it’s a thing)
Stick with me here, we’re getting technical but I promise it will be clear in the end.
You have these things in your brain. They are called neurons.
See below
There are several types of neurons in our brains. The ones we will chat about are motor neurons. These motor neurons transmit information from the brain to the body. So far so good?
Based on your thoughts, these neurons send electricity (brain waves) to other neurons to fire similarly, creating a neuron network.
Let’s think of this as a group of girls in high school.
One has a great idea. She tells a friend. Who tells another friend who tells another and now they have a gaggle of girls with some sort of BRILLIANT idea. The more these girls share ideas and the more they have in common, the stronger the connect. Makes sense right?
Well when that one “negative thought” neuron signals another and another and another. They form a “negative thought” neural pathway which is as strong as the amount of times you think these negative thoughts.
Now when this happens and the body detects stress, the neurotransmitters in the brain send an electrochemical signal to the hypothalamus which can allow the release of cortisol from the adrenals.
Cortisol regulates stress by giving you a boost of energy (giving you the option of flight or flight)
This gets absorbed into the cells. The more the cells receive these chemicals, the more they get used to it, want more, and when they die off and multiply, they create more dependency on these chemicals.
Ok so where are we with the gaggle of girls? They decide to shoplift. They steal a bunch of snap bracelets from Claire’s without getting caught. What a rush. Now they steal some shirts from 5-7-9. Got away with it! Wow… this is fun!
Can you see how this can get addicting? Maybe you’ve even been there ((no judgement)).
They want more. And so does your body. And so does your brain. Because now you’re body is addicted and the brain has created neural pathways that are so strong that it is your first response.
There is obviously more science and technicalities to the above but I think you get the picture.
So yes, boys and girls. You CAN get addicted to the suffering. To the drama. To never being happy.
BUT the good news.. as I have experienced first hand, is that we have NEUROPLASTICITY. This means that we ARE able to change the neural pathways in our brain.
Thinking new thoughts. Feeling new feelings. Behaving differently. Believing new beliefs. Creating new identities and new realities.
All of these things have the power to not only change your brain but change your life.
Because when you can have a flexible mind, you are more able to tune into different perspectives, realities, possibilities, perhaps even dimensions. And now we’re really talking…
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